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-2
Phartsalot
OH GAWD this story SO SUCKED!!! It was one of the worst I've ever read! As bad, if not worse than most of the rewrites out there. It doesn't even rank as amateurish. No imagination, piss poor vocabulary and the dialogue was the worst ever as it was too repetitive and went nowhere. The artwork was decent, but the sorriness of the story totally overrode it, and just made this one of the worst. The story line made no sense at all as it did not even follow a path. Not worth reading, rating, or even looking at. Whoever printed and produced this has no taste.
Wasn't at all fappable. Three thumbs way down. The one couldn't even get up, and I doubt I will even be able to get it up for at least a month after this junk. Is there a rating of less than half a star or a negative?
^talk about poor grammar.
Anonymous
FUCK YEAH OLD MAN
ZERO
>>46873 @ Phartsalot
-don't read
-click "view all"
-happy fapping
No need to thank me ;)
Miss Triss
>>46897 @ Pharuan Undearth
What are you talking about? Yes, Phartsalot left out a couple of proper pronouns that generally start off a sentence, but that's common in today's speech. Otherwise his grammar is good, as well as perfect spelling. I could do without a couple of his expletives as well.

Now if you mean the anime, I couldn't agree with you more. I couldn't agree with the first comment more, either. I thought there was a story going one way, then it stops, and another one begins, then stops, then a totally different theme begins that tries to wrap in the first story, then that ends before even lifting off of the runway - talk about confusing. The author of this one must've been on LSD or meth when he wrote with this one... it has several beginnings that go nowhere. Granted, each one would make a wonderful story.

And I agree, there are several great authors out there that can talk dirty and get me very hot, wet, and horney using normal language. Speaking as a woman, foul language is not a turn on, but a sign of immaturity. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE dirty talk, and I don't mind an occasional foul word, but I prefer a mature mind over adolescent thinking. That's why I loathe American porn - no one knows how to talk. I've had plenty of sex, and never heard anything like that, and if I did, I'd shut it down, immediately and throw the imbecile, male or female (yes, I play both sides) to the curb. This one's a total turn off and I couldn't get wet from it either. Totes turned off.
WTF? Didn't get a damned thing outta dis. Came here to fap, leaving disatisfied. Yeah, there was sum cummin... my breakfast, my lunch, even dinner from last nite all came up... Only thing that didn't cum up was ma willy. Shulda read da comments first.
Phartsalot
>>46925 @ ZERO
-too late, already read
-clicked "view all," relived nightmare
-still unable to get it up after reading this yesterday, so no fapping, and no happy
thanks anyway :P
ZERO
>>46945 @ Phartsalot
Want some bleach, then?
It'll relax both mind and body... forever ever after
Phartsalot
>>46949 @ ZERO
I'd love to say, "Yes, bring it," but with my luck, I'd either wake up a vegetable, or wake up in hell... aka, this manga... :P
Anonymous
Not the worst I've read. It's writing is admittedly bad but the premise was fine. Swap around some pages and some perspective and it would have been pretty good. I guess this guy is new so give him lots of support!
Anonymous
goddammit I read the second one first
Addelle
I know thats one messy situation but...dont people ever knock anymore!?!?
Damn im hungry
All these people arguing and the only thing I could think about the entire time was how much I really wanted a bowl of ramen

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